fresh of the boat from backsliding WILDERNESS!!!wow i just realized it's been a long time. before i realized it, it's march 09! living day to to day with out a mission and a purpose makes u feel life is boring and empty. i tend to find myfelf fall into the devil's trap very easily. i always ask myself WHY?!??!???! don't u love god? don't u care and love people? don't want to see what god can do in ur life? my answers has always been yes but... god is not listening, he's not into me, i am not holy.... blah blah blah... day by day i fall into my own trap. i felt like a kid that did someting wrong and feels shameful to go home, and see my parents, i started telling myself they don't want me anymore.
but just recently with this past 2 months, i ran into momo randomly once at the bank, once at the mall, and once driving by her to me it was just a coinstance. until one day i recieved a hand written letter from momo saying shes been praying for me. she feels like the frst two time we ran into eachother at the bank and mall must means something so she told god that if she sees me one more time then it's time for me to come back to god. then days passes by she feels like she couldn't wait any longer so decided to give me a call to meet her up she had someting to tell me. so we met up in a restruaunt and she told me the story. then i asked her didn't u see me drive by u? and she was schocked, she said i wasn't sure that day if it was u or not, but i did see a car like urs drive by me. i decided to call u anyways because i just didn't want to wait for the third time anymore. but now she realized we did already meet 3 times in god's planing. she was so happy that answered her prayer, then she looked at me and said it's time to come back, god loves you very much he didn't give up on u and hes trying so hard to have you back. then i felt this loving kindness pouring into my heart. aftewards when i was on my own i forgot about everything again. i was back to my empty shell wondering around soulless.
just this past week, on thursday i woke up the bones in my neck was out of place, my neck was cricked i couldn't trun my head or lift my left hand. i thought it was a stiff neck from sleeping so i went to work anyways. but by the afternoon it was in severe pain so i left and went home. then that night momo and enoch prayed for me it was a bit better. so i took off work for 2 days, momo said i should go to church. i kind of hesitated at first but i went with her anyways. when i walked in and saw jack and annie prayed for me tears were falling like rapids. it felt like home, i was back to my guardians my spiritual parents. then on sunday i joined my brothers and sisters at suday service it was such a blessing. i realized i need to build a new foundation with god.
so now that i decided to leave the wilderness i'm looking back at how did i get there and how do i help others to get out. i realized a couple things i don't read the bible, and i don't pray. well that's the two basic things to do if u want to know god more and start a relationship with him. we need to spent atleat an hour everyday with god, u can't just do 15mins or 10mins it takes about that long for your mind to settle down and focus on god. praying to him its like couseling. except he's the best couselor ever, that has answers to everything and his ears are all your for free. so if u know there's a couselor like that out there wouldn't you wanna be the first one to show up and make an appointment whenever u can? and tell him every thing that's been bugging you and your worries?
recently i read in a book that god has at least 70,000 promises in the bible for us so if we don't read it how do we claim it? how are we gonna know what those things are? the bible was written for us, a love letter personaly from god. if we ignore it we're not gonna know what's instored for us. each scripture is speaking to us, not to peter, not to paul, not to john, it's speaking directly to us, to me to u. your bible is not just a bible, it's full of wonders and excitement papared from god for you to recieve.
when u read a verse u probably just read a verse like this for example 1 timothy 6:11-12 oh timothy you are God's man, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. but if you treat your bible like it's your own message from god you change timothy and put your own name there and then read it again, like 1 timothy 6:11-12 oh michelle or _____ you are God's woman/man, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. then this becomes a message directly from god to you.
the greatest place to start putting your own name would be john 3:16 for god so loved Michlle or ______ he gave his only begotten son that if michelle or _____ should believed in him, he/she should not perish but have everlasting life. how powerful is that? just to know god would have done it if i'd been the only person ever born. just like god would have done it for you if you'd been the only person in the whole wide world!
i encourage all of you to start putting you name in the bible and claim what god has given you.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Monday, May 19, 2008
OH SWEET JESUS.
THANKS for eveything.
on may 3rd was the day i need to pay my rent.
may 2nd my step dad asked me to deliever money to a employee. $350 he gave me $400 and let me keep $50 thank u jesus!!! i was so thrilled and happy to have $50 out of no where. then i went to work.
work hasn't been very busy lately, but somehow we were busy enough that my paycheck was double the amount the week b4~!!! thank u jesus!!! there was a product sale that day too and my stylist usually don't sell anything to her clients, but on that day everyone that came in asked her to suggest a product so she won the competition!!! $50 i was very happy for her. she looked at me and gave me $20 i was like what !!! i don't deserve it but she insisted so again i wanted to run outside and shout out jesus.
then after work i was sitting in my car prasing god super happy with the money i got to pay my rent. then i got a phone call from my stepdad, he said the employee came to his office and picked up the money this morning so i was like thinking uh what do i do with the money... and he said just keep the money because i know u might need it. my jaw like just dropped because my parents never really give me any money ever since like high school. for him to give me that much money was like totally god~!!!
god cares so much about me he knows what i need and when do i need it. and he is faithful through the time when i was poor even offering $1 was ripping my heart apart because i probably got it from recycling. but he's not looking how much u offer it's ur faith that touches his heart.
just when i thought this was it, god showed me even more. we can never imagine his limits. then mother's day came around i try not to spend too much like the years before but i still spend almost $100. i was thinking that it was a bit much for my budget. that night we had a party at my house and there was like 20 some ppl. and i was so tired already i didn't want to do the dishes and my stepdad cleaned everything, without even asking for my help i was so glad, he did that. because usually if we host a party i'm usually the one doing dishes. then i felt thristy so i went to the kitchen to get some water by the sink and the dishwasher was open and our family usually leave it open cuz they think it drys faster or sth. so i walked by it and i looked inside there was $100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! i was like no way!!! i stood there thinking someone left it? but y? maybe they think it's dirty? cuz it was wet. but then i thought how can no one saw it? it's like right there!! so i went to ask my mom if anyone put it there purposely and she didn't know anything abt it. then it just hit me like wow it must be from god!!! it's not like a dollar or five dollar bill it's $100 how can people forget abt it if they left it there on purpose. then when i was driving i felt god's love and glory so strong that i wanted to cry in my car, i began to scream jesus. u r so good~!!! u r sososo good!!!
he knows that by giving me that surprise i was gonna be thrilled. of course i was... then i began to text everybody. i didn't care if they believed it or not. and by testify him and glorify him he blessed me even more than i could ever imagine. you know the more he bless me the more i want to share his power and love to others, by me doing that he wants to bless me even more~!!! so on sunday jack asked me to share my experiences and i was like sure no problem~!
so i shared my blessings and blessed others on sunday. right before i was abt to leave i went to my car to get some money to make an offering, i took out a certain amount to offer and i was walking back to the church then i was thinking this amount is like nothing i took it out from my walet and my heart didn't even feel a thing so i told myself this is not right, so i walked back and i got 3 times the amount of what i was gonna offer. my heart definetly felt something this time, and my mind was thinking what am i gonna do for next month's rent and bills and blah blah blah... this is when i had to tell my mind to shut up and remind myself the ways god has been blessing me through those rough times. because if i don't let go and have faith in him then how am i ever gonna experience him like i had before. so i went in the church dropped off my offering. and right when i was walking out someone came up to me and said "here take it because god wanted me to give this to u and he wants u to have it." he/she stuffed it in my right palm, i felt it, it was money how much>? i didn't look but i was going crazy already i kept saying jesus jesus u're so good!!! i thank the person and walked to my car i looked and it was $200 i began to weep!!! god u're so good to me!!! u're always with me and u know me so well. hes like a very caring father. he encouraged me and loves me by his actions. i walked right back into church and shared what happened i want to encourage everyone, just put u're faith in god ~!!! i know u heard this many many times, u've heard many many testimonies like this but u need to personaly experience him, let me tell you it's way different than when u hear from other people. u can not trust or relay anything in this world, but if u put ur faith in god he will never let u down and he is a faithful god. he's always on time too. i can say ever since i believed in him, i've never regreat my decisions.
and if u think i'm just a lucky person, let me tell u, i'm only this lucky with jesus by my side, and u can be too just give jesus a try... see what happenes~
THANKS for eveything.
on may 3rd was the day i need to pay my rent.
may 2nd my step dad asked me to deliever money to a employee. $350 he gave me $400 and let me keep $50 thank u jesus!!! i was so thrilled and happy to have $50 out of no where. then i went to work.
work hasn't been very busy lately, but somehow we were busy enough that my paycheck was double the amount the week b4~!!! thank u jesus!!! there was a product sale that day too and my stylist usually don't sell anything to her clients, but on that day everyone that came in asked her to suggest a product so she won the competition!!! $50 i was very happy for her. she looked at me and gave me $20 i was like what !!! i don't deserve it but she insisted so again i wanted to run outside and shout out jesus.
then after work i was sitting in my car prasing god super happy with the money i got to pay my rent. then i got a phone call from my stepdad, he said the employee came to his office and picked up the money this morning so i was like thinking uh what do i do with the money... and he said just keep the money because i know u might need it. my jaw like just dropped because my parents never really give me any money ever since like high school. for him to give me that much money was like totally god~!!!
god cares so much about me he knows what i need and when do i need it. and he is faithful through the time when i was poor even offering $1 was ripping my heart apart because i probably got it from recycling. but he's not looking how much u offer it's ur faith that touches his heart.
just when i thought this was it, god showed me even more. we can never imagine his limits. then mother's day came around i try not to spend too much like the years before but i still spend almost $100. i was thinking that it was a bit much for my budget. that night we had a party at my house and there was like 20 some ppl. and i was so tired already i didn't want to do the dishes and my stepdad cleaned everything, without even asking for my help i was so glad, he did that. because usually if we host a party i'm usually the one doing dishes. then i felt thristy so i went to the kitchen to get some water by the sink and the dishwasher was open and our family usually leave it open cuz they think it drys faster or sth. so i walked by it and i looked inside there was $100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! i was like no way!!! i stood there thinking someone left it? but y? maybe they think it's dirty? cuz it was wet. but then i thought how can no one saw it? it's like right there!! so i went to ask my mom if anyone put it there purposely and she didn't know anything abt it. then it just hit me like wow it must be from god!!! it's not like a dollar or five dollar bill it's $100 how can people forget abt it if they left it there on purpose. then when i was driving i felt god's love and glory so strong that i wanted to cry in my car, i began to scream jesus. u r so good~!!! u r sososo good!!!
he knows that by giving me that surprise i was gonna be thrilled. of course i was... then i began to text everybody. i didn't care if they believed it or not. and by testify him and glorify him he blessed me even more than i could ever imagine. you know the more he bless me the more i want to share his power and love to others, by me doing that he wants to bless me even more~!!! so on sunday jack asked me to share my experiences and i was like sure no problem~!
so i shared my blessings and blessed others on sunday. right before i was abt to leave i went to my car to get some money to make an offering, i took out a certain amount to offer and i was walking back to the church then i was thinking this amount is like nothing i took it out from my walet and my heart didn't even feel a thing so i told myself this is not right, so i walked back and i got 3 times the amount of what i was gonna offer. my heart definetly felt something this time, and my mind was thinking what am i gonna do for next month's rent and bills and blah blah blah... this is when i had to tell my mind to shut up and remind myself the ways god has been blessing me through those rough times. because if i don't let go and have faith in him then how am i ever gonna experience him like i had before. so i went in the church dropped off my offering. and right when i was walking out someone came up to me and said "here take it because god wanted me to give this to u and he wants u to have it." he/she stuffed it in my right palm, i felt it, it was money how much>? i didn't look but i was going crazy already i kept saying jesus jesus u're so good!!! i thank the person and walked to my car i looked and it was $200 i began to weep!!! god u're so good to me!!! u're always with me and u know me so well. hes like a very caring father. he encouraged me and loves me by his actions. i walked right back into church and shared what happened i want to encourage everyone, just put u're faith in god ~!!! i know u heard this many many times, u've heard many many testimonies like this but u need to personaly experience him, let me tell you it's way different than when u hear from other people. u can not trust or relay anything in this world, but if u put ur faith in god he will never let u down and he is a faithful god. he's always on time too. i can say ever since i believed in him, i've never regreat my decisions.
and if u think i'm just a lucky person, let me tell u, i'm only this lucky with jesus by my side, and u can be too just give jesus a try... see what happenes~
Friday, March 14, 2008
In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina one little 6 years old boy rise above the waters and became a hero. He was with his cousins and friends whom were all less than 3 years old and a 5 months old brother. They were joined by his mom on top of a roof for 3 days, waiting to be rescued. When the helicopter finally arrived they didn't have enough seats for all of them so they took all the kids and seprated them from his mom. The kids including DeMonte himself were droped off at an airport. While his mom was rescued and droped off at another location. His mom anxiously searched for him, meanwhile DeMonte was holding hands with his brood and encouraging them to keep up their spirits. He did this for four days! until he was reunited with his mom. I mean come on 6 years old~!!! Personally i'm like almost 4 times his age and i can't even take care of myself~! I begin to think questions like do we really need a disaster to act mature? Do we really need to lose everything so we can appriciate and precious everything arround us? Reading and hearing stories like this just gives me chills and extreame encouragement.
There are 365 days in a year, average living for a human being is abt 75 years old so that's abt 27,375 days on earth... if u are around my age u have abt 19,710 days left in this world... for the first time 5 digits sounds so quite few... 20 thousand dollars is quite alot of money, 20 parties is quite alot of parties, 20 thousand people lead by u to christ is quite alot of souls... what r u gonna do with the days that your left with?
Make each day count, live for what u believe in.
There are 365 days in a year, average living for a human being is abt 75 years old so that's abt 27,375 days on earth... if u are around my age u have abt 19,710 days left in this world... for the first time 5 digits sounds so quite few... 20 thousand dollars is quite alot of money, 20 parties is quite alot of parties, 20 thousand people lead by u to christ is quite alot of souls... what r u gonna do with the days that your left with?
Make each day count, live for what u believe in.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
aaa
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
aaa
Sunday, January 27, 2008
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD IS SO AMAZING~!!! as I keep on experiencing him more each time he amazes me with sth new everytime. Since last year end of July I quit working for my family's business, no job = no income. Through God's grace and love I am still alive... I still have money for gas, and food to eat. It's also weird because I've applied so many places and interviews, nth just seems right, I guess you could say I was being picky in the beginning, but when I became desprate I even applied to be a dishwasher...=.=''' but then that didn't even work out hahaha~. Just about 2 weeks ago I found a lady needing an assitant at Salon Essence in Pasadena, she rents the station. I was very interested in this job for some reason eventho it wasn't a high pay job. I went for the interview and when I was waiting for her to show up and she pops up in front of me like "Michelle?" I was like "yea" and she treated me like I was her friend~ she was like my goodness look at your hair it's gorgeous~ and you look so cute!!! she started pampering me... that was like my first time getting pampered at an interview... I felt like I was just meeting an old friend that I've known for ages. She was just complimenting me one after another. Then she started asking me what do I look for in this job and what's my future goals I told her about it. I love her schedule Wed-Sat she is also a believer and the days she doens't work i could go in and do my own clients~ over all she told me she really liked me but she needs to pick between me or this other girl that her friend introduced, so imediately I felt like I have less chances than the other girl (devil speaking) so she told me to hear from her the fallowing week. I was SO anxious, like never b4. When I got her call she told me that her assitant is not leaving anymore because her assitant's husband's job didn't workout she they are not moving away anymore. I was like WHAT this is worse than her telling me if she was gonna pick the other girl. Before Heidi hang up she said we never know what God is really planning in his mysterious ways. When I heard that I felt like my faith was being tested but at the same time >< I was really dissapointed and my family was dissapointed too~!!! I told most ppl that I was abt to work and then I had to tell everyone that it didn't work out AGAIN~ It really destroyed me and made me depressed, and I was just asking God Y? Y? Y? If he closes this door then what does he have in mind??? Then the next day my mom told me to move out b4 Mar. 1st so I had even more pressure~ I didn't know where is the rent going to come from... how am I suppose to survive??? then I realized that I haven't been offering anything since I quit my job. So the past 2 sundays I decided to make offerings to God eventho it wasn't much but it really did made my heart ache... every peeny counts for me right now... but I just felt like I needed to give him the best and he'll do the same in return~ so then one night I was reading about psalms 27...
Psalm 27
Of David.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.
13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
It really just touched my heart the funny thing is that I read it because I remember seeing a necklace shaped like psalm 27 in a fashion magzine very random. I felt like it should mean something so I read it and it was right on, it really helped me to over come the situation I was in. So then after that I decided to move on and just continue to apply for jobs and see where is God going to lead me. I even had a strong conviction in my heart that if is what God had perpared for me no one can take it away, but if is sth that's not good for me God won't let me in either. So I just continued applying for jobs even the most ridiculious jobs too. But today morning around 10am I recieved a call it was from HEIDI!!!!!!!!!!! The lady from Salon Essence!!!!!!! I was sleeping but when I saw her name flashing on my cellphone my eyes popped and it was wide open!!! She kept my # and kept me in mind, she asked me if I found a job yet I sad no. Then she asked me if I would like to work for her because her assitant's boyfriend's job worked out and they are moving away~ I WAS LIKE OMG!!!!!!!!! And then she asked me if i was going to this anual hair show, I told her I couldnt afford it, and she even offered to take me there for free~!!!! AHAAAAAAHHHHHH double portion!!!! Tiffany (Li Ting) was sleeping next to me and she doesn't speak much english from the tone of my voice she even understood that I was hired. The job that I really wanted!!!! God is FAITHFUL~ he really knows what is he doing like seriously~! My job starts on Wed Jan 30th~ that means I will have enough $ b4 Mar. 1st to move out. exactly what I prayed for I needed a job b4 Feb so I could have my first paycheck~ sigh ahhhhhhhh I love u Jesus U R awsome~ just like the pastor said tonight at the cofrence "There's no testimonies if there's no test~" Through out these past 6 months God has taught me alot I've learned that, 1. tell him your problems before you tell anyone else. God needs our attention we can't just treat him like the magic latern we only rubb it when we need something. God would actually allow bad things happen to us because that can actually wake us up and bring us closer. 2.Don't have doubts in him he knows what is he doing, although it maynot make any sence to us. 3. PRAY PRAY PRAY (PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS) I'm not very good at it either but our God have mercy, he knows our limits he sees you trying and doing your best eventhough it's not enough and he is pleased with our willingness because he loves us. All we need to do is to just have faith in him weather if it takes 3months, half a year, 1 year, 10 years, God knows what is he doing. Cause he is GOD ^^
Psalm 27
Of David.
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.
8 My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior.
10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
11 Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.
13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
It really just touched my heart the funny thing is that I read it because I remember seeing a necklace shaped like psalm 27 in a fashion magzine very random. I felt like it should mean something so I read it and it was right on, it really helped me to over come the situation I was in. So then after that I decided to move on and just continue to apply for jobs and see where is God going to lead me. I even had a strong conviction in my heart that if is what God had perpared for me no one can take it away, but if is sth that's not good for me God won't let me in either. So I just continued applying for jobs even the most ridiculious jobs too. But today morning around 10am I recieved a call it was from HEIDI!!!!!!!!!!! The lady from Salon Essence!!!!!!! I was sleeping but when I saw her name flashing on my cellphone my eyes popped and it was wide open!!! She kept my # and kept me in mind, she asked me if I found a job yet I sad no. Then she asked me if I would like to work for her because her assitant's boyfriend's job worked out and they are moving away~ I WAS LIKE OMG!!!!!!!!! And then she asked me if i was going to this anual hair show, I told her I couldnt afford it, and she even offered to take me there for free~!!!! AHAAAAAAHHHHHH double portion!!!! Tiffany (Li Ting) was sleeping next to me and she doesn't speak much english from the tone of my voice she even understood that I was hired. The job that I really wanted!!!! God is FAITHFUL~ he really knows what is he doing like seriously~! My job starts on Wed Jan 30th~ that means I will have enough $ b4 Mar. 1st to move out. exactly what I prayed for I needed a job b4 Feb so I could have my first paycheck~ sigh ahhhhhhhh I love u Jesus U R awsome~ just like the pastor said tonight at the cofrence "There's no testimonies if there's no test~" Through out these past 6 months God has taught me alot I've learned that, 1. tell him your problems before you tell anyone else. God needs our attention we can't just treat him like the magic latern we only rubb it when we need something. God would actually allow bad things happen to us because that can actually wake us up and bring us closer. 2.Don't have doubts in him he knows what is he doing, although it maynot make any sence to us. 3. PRAY PRAY PRAY (PRAY UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS) I'm not very good at it either but our God have mercy, he knows our limits he sees you trying and doing your best eventhough it's not enough and he is pleased with our willingness because he loves us. All we need to do is to just have faith in him weather if it takes 3months, half a year, 1 year, 10 years, God knows what is he doing. Cause he is GOD ^^
Monday, January 14, 2008
My grandma went to China for like 4 months, she jaust came back around Christmas. She's actually my stepdad's mom, but I call her Grandma anyways. We've been spending alot of time together. Last year I prayed for my family to be saved and really on fire for God. My grandma has been a believer for like 10 years... eventhough she's like 75 years old I just prayed that God would set a fire in her heart too. So recently she just told me she wanted to start comming to our church, I was a bit surprised, because she has her own church to go to, and she knows that our church is full of young ppl. She stills feels kind of wierd joining us because she's older. I told her age doesn't matter because we're all going there for God. Then she began sharing with me the reasons that she wanted to come with me. She said she wants to unite with me together we can influence my parents and my stepsister to believe in Christ. I was like WOW God is beginning to answer my prayer!!! And she even shared abt how it's gonna be hard and complicated because my parents are very against church. But she said we are suppose to be prosecuted and put through hardship so we can grow and have more faith in God. She even gave me an example like how Christians are suppose to be like Cactus. Cactus can survive in the desert without any water and any care, God created it he takes care of it eventho we don't see it with our human eyes. God created us too so he will take care of us too eventho we don't see it. I was like this is so crazy we were like having fellowship at my house. Then on sunday she prepared herself and her bible and actually came to church with me. I was a bit worried because the worship was in english and when she was introducing herself she actually said eventho she didn't understand the english she actually felt the Holy Spirit filled up her heart. I can't wait to see more things happening by the end of the year.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
wow it's been ten days since i last updated my blog....
I can't believe christmas is almost here...
well ever since christmas party was over I been giving myself a relaxing break...
past two weeks was like super intense~
I felt like there was so much pressure...
I was wanted my parents to come to the christmas party and be surprised how nice everything was and how impact has grown so much...
but things always end up the way u didn't think of...
my mom was mad and yelling and complaining about how much time I put into this whole party, and how I don't care about our family or their life and death///
things got very out of hand and I haven't spoke to her for like almost 2 weeks...
knowing that she didn't even bother to show up at the party and how much she even hates church was on my mind for like that whole week was like a nuclear weapon from satan... it just like dropped in my heart and exploded my heart into pieces.
I still remember I would be crying at one point in the middle of doing sth, and pull myself together the next minute.
"A season of hope" for me was trying to bring hope to my family and warmth into our house and build up a total different atmosphere. but instead it was a no show.
actually now that I think of it, I need to apologize to many people that I offened with my attitude, I want you to know it has nth to do with u personaly it just had to do with my own emotions from all the stress I had with my family.
I really wanted to see loving family gathering and celebrate christmas and enjoying one another's presence...
So i'm giving myself no credit for this whole thing because there was sth missing at the party... ones that I live with, ones that I love, ones that gave me birth... if all I gave them was the feeling that I didn't care then how can I offer it to 80+ ppl...
Jesus we really need you in our family... as messed up as it appears to be I think u're the only one that could fix it... would PLEASE send down ur angels and restore the love and joy to this family, because without your presence at our house nothing else matters, cars, money, big house... it's all just an empty eggshell... You are the one that's going to bring us life and a purpose... to live... let my parents see that... I ask you to just open their eyes and awake their spirit... this house needs miracles...
I also pray that in a season like this, "A Season of Hope" that you would restore all the broken families with love and peace...
God u see me through like clear waters, u know exactly how I feel and what I need... so I ask all this in the Father, Spirit and Son....
-Amen
I can't believe christmas is almost here...
well ever since christmas party was over I been giving myself a relaxing break...
past two weeks was like super intense~
I felt like there was so much pressure...
I was wanted my parents to come to the christmas party and be surprised how nice everything was and how impact has grown so much...
but things always end up the way u didn't think of...
my mom was mad and yelling and complaining about how much time I put into this whole party, and how I don't care about our family or their life and death///
things got very out of hand and I haven't spoke to her for like almost 2 weeks...
knowing that she didn't even bother to show up at the party and how much she even hates church was on my mind for like that whole week was like a nuclear weapon from satan... it just like dropped in my heart and exploded my heart into pieces.
I still remember I would be crying at one point in the middle of doing sth, and pull myself together the next minute.
"A season of hope" for me was trying to bring hope to my family and warmth into our house and build up a total different atmosphere. but instead it was a no show.
actually now that I think of it, I need to apologize to many people that I offened with my attitude, I want you to know it has nth to do with u personaly it just had to do with my own emotions from all the stress I had with my family.
I really wanted to see loving family gathering and celebrate christmas and enjoying one another's presence...
So i'm giving myself no credit for this whole thing because there was sth missing at the party... ones that I live with, ones that I love, ones that gave me birth... if all I gave them was the feeling that I didn't care then how can I offer it to 80+ ppl...
Jesus we really need you in our family... as messed up as it appears to be I think u're the only one that could fix it... would PLEASE send down ur angels and restore the love and joy to this family, because without your presence at our house nothing else matters, cars, money, big house... it's all just an empty eggshell... You are the one that's going to bring us life and a purpose... to live... let my parents see that... I ask you to just open their eyes and awake their spirit... this house needs miracles...
I also pray that in a season like this, "A Season of Hope" that you would restore all the broken families with love and peace...
God u see me through like clear waters, u know exactly how I feel and what I need... so I ask all this in the Father, Spirit and Son....
-Amen